How To Survive A Zombie Apocalypse
by Marc White
All hell has broken loose. Society has crumbled. Your front lawn is filled with zombies. You might be wondering how this happened. That’s not the point. The zombie apocalypse is here and unless you plan on getting eaten alive, you are going to need to know how to survive. Don’t panic. I’m going to teach you everything that you need to know.
I’m Marc White, the founder of Zombie Gear Dude where I teach people how to survive the zombie apocalypse and what zombie weapons and gear work best.
Zombie Outbreak Survival Tips For The Unprepared
To survive a zombie apocalypse, you need to be in great shape. If you get winded running a mile, you’re probably going to be eaten. Build up your cardio since the majority of your day will be spent running from zombies. Train in parkour, which can help you navigate a hazardous or obstacle-ridden environment.
Have an escape route for your home when the zombies inevitably break in. You will need two separate meeting locations for your family if you get separated in the chaos. You should also have an emergency contact who is out of state to keep your family updated on your status, assuming all technology hasn’t been destroyed.
Stick together. You’ll find strength in numbers and a good team can help you gather supplies and fight off zombies. If everyone goes back to back, you’re going to have 360 degrees of vision. Never let the zombies get out of sight.
You shouldn’t trust strangers. People who are unprepared to deal with the zombie apocalypse are prone to freak out and act irrationally. You want your team to be all die-hard survivalists. No cheerleaders.
You’re also going to need a survival kit: clean drinking water, 1 gallon per day; food, either canned or non-perishable; a first-aid kit with bandages, rubbing alcohol and any prescription medication that you might need; and utility items like a knife, duct tape, a flashlight with extra batteries, and a radio.
But even the most extensive survival kit will run out eventually. How do you find new supplies? In an urban environment, the best places to look are abandoned homes, gas stations, military surplus outlets, and outdoor stores. After you have confirmed that the room is clear of zombies, bring a large backpack or duffle bag and raid the place.
You can also find supplies in a forest. You might stumble upon an abandoned campsite with plenty of supplies. But before you wander too far into the woods, mark the trail with spray paint or duct tape. Be careful with any berries or vegetation that you find. Unless you know for sure they’re not poisonous, don’t eat anything.
The human body can only go a few days without water. The easiest way to get water in a zombie apocalypse is from sealed water bottles. But if you can’t find those, catch rainwater in an empty bottle. You don’t even need to purify it before you drink it. In a cold climate, note that snow or ice works great too. Are you somewhere that doesn’t get any rain? Raid hot water tanks and water from toilet basins. And please remember that it’s the top part of the toilet, not the bottom part.
But before you drink that water, you’re going to need to purify it. Bring the water to a boil for a minute and it should be safe to drink. If you don’t have access to fire, find some clean chlorine bleach and mix in 8 drops per gallon of water. Stir, and let it sit for 30 minutes. You’ve got yourself clean drinkable water, yum!
With zombies everywhere, you’re going to need to secure a base camp. The ideal shelter is made of a sturdy material like a brick with few windows that can potentially serve as entry points.
Dams, power plants, water treatment facilities, or any government buildings serve nicely. But don’t venture too far or spend too much time looking for the perfect spot. The more you’re out in the open, the more vulnerable you’re to a zombie attack.
You might think you should hold up in a mall or a big box retail store to be near supplies. But according to Zombie Research Society founder, Matt Mogk, that’s a terrible idea. Stores are the first place most people will go, and the more people there are in a contained area, the quicker and easier it is to spread the virus or disease that caused the zombie outbreak in the first place.
If you are in a pinch, can’t find any secure buildings, you can always try a boat. While the topic is hotly debated by Zombie fans, science says that zombies would lack the motor functions necessary to swim. This means that a boat would keep you safe from an attack unless you are in shallow water.
Get some protective gear! A strong leather jacket or Kevlar motorcycle gear is ideal. Zombies are going to have a tough time biting through something that thick. Ditch your car! You are not going to fuel your gas tank in the middle of a zombie apocalypse.
Not to mention the fact that a loud engine would tip any nearby zombies off to your location. Find a bike instead. It’s a much more versatile and effective means of transportation in the new zombie infested world. Plus it’s better for the environment. In case we ever manage to rebuild society.
No matter how prepared you are, eventually, you are going to come face to face with zombies.
So, what’s the best way to deal with these murder machines?
Don’t fight, just run, fast! You have all heard the saying that it’s a marathon, not a sprint. Well, this is a sprint. So do your best and get the hell out of there!
If you can’t outrun the zombies, though, you still have a couple more options. Neuroscientist Bradley Voytek created a model of what a zombie’s brain would look like and found that damage to the zombie’s central corpus would give them terrible short term memory. This means that you can easily hide. Loss of the posterior parietal cortices means that zombies have trouble visually focusing on more than one object at a time, meaning that they are easily distracted.
Another option is to act like a zombie. Voytek speculates that zombies suffer from a form of illusion which means that they have trouble knowing whether a person is a human or a zombie. Don’t feel bad for them, just take advantage of it.
But if all else fails, you’re going to need to fight the zombies. This is the last resort as the only way to kill a zombie is to destroy its brain.
But what’s the best weapon to do that?
The answer is simple. Take a blunt or sharp object and hit them in the head. The best part is, these weapons are basically silent and won’t attract attention from any other nearby dead-ites or zombies.
Here is another thing to consider: don’t think that you’re used to playing video games, and it will help you score headshots when it comes to killing zombies. Studies have shown that in life situations, trained police officers have a shooting accuracy of just 25%.
Alright, you’re now in good shape to stay alive in a zombie apocalypse. Now just follow my advice for the rest of your life and you’ll be good to go.
Send me more suggestions in the comments down below. And until the next time, I am Marc White, wishing you a safe zombie killing adventure.
Top 10 Zombie Apocalypse Survival Tips
And don’t forget to check out the CDC’s Zombie Apocalypse Survival Tips
M.D. Creekmore adds: No we don’t believe that there is going to be an actual walking dead zombie outbreak – this article is written in a “fun way” and published here to make it more interesting for readers.